FantasticBabblings

Forty-six years ago this month (March 13, 1964) a young woman named Kitty Genovese was brutally murdered at an apartment complex in Kew Gardens, Queens, NY. A couple of weeks later news reports claimed that 38 people saw the murder and did nothing. The report was extremely inaccurate, but there was some buck passing and failure to recognize the seriousness of events by civilians and the NYPD. In spite of the facts the more dramatic story stuck and became known all over the world, fueling the impression that New Yorkers were uncaring and didn’t want to get involved. You can read the details at Wikipedia if you want to know more.

The reason I bring this up is that I faced a similar dilemma this afternoon. I was watching television and heard some shouting in the shaftway outside the kitchen. I wasn’t sure if it was coming from my building or next door, but I think I know where it was. There was a lot of arguing going on with a woman shouting “get out of my apartment.” I muted the tv and went to the window. While I couldn’t make out everything that was said, it seemed apparent that it was an argument between a couple who knew each other and not a break-in. Both were being quite vehement, but it didn’t sound like there was any physical violence. It went on for about a minute after I muted the tv and then got quiet. I had my phone in my hand trying to decide if I should call the police. Couples argue and people are entitled to their nonviolent disputes, though this one sounded for a moment like it could get violent.

Calling the cops for just an argument can exacerbate a situation more than defuse it. In 1974, when I was still living in South Carolina, a couple in my building was arguing when someone called the cops. When the cops arrived, the guy ran outside into some woods behind the building and one of the cops pursued him. A shot was fired. The guy was dead. The cop said the kid pulled his gun from his holster and the cop tried to wrestle it back and it went off. Nobody knows but the cop because the only other person who was there is dead.

I admit today I felt a little of what sociologists call “diffusion of responsibility”. I thought maybe one of my neighbors heard better what was going on and would call the police if necessary. When things got quiet I wondered if they came to an accommodation or he left or he killed her. Or did she kill him? Since no cops came and I heard conversation later that sounded calm, I imagine nothing violent happened.

What should I have done? I’m not looking to absolve guilt, because I don’t feel guilty. But I do wonder what the tipping point is. When do you leave people to their privacy and when to you intervene?